"BECAUSE GOD SAYS SO" isn't enough
- TaCora Divine
- Mar 30, 2018
- 7 min read
How to Respond to Why
You Don’t Condone Sin
I must have been an incredibly annoying little sister as a kid.
Not only would I demand all of the attention (being the baby of the family and all), I would invent tactics to get under my older sister’s skin.
One of my most ingenious ways to aggravate her was to repeatedly ask the simple question, “Why?” After the tenth time of asking, my sister would be nearly shaking with anger.
All that was left for her to say was, “Because I said so.” Although very funny to think back on how it was so easy for her to lose in that situation, I can draw a parallel from this conversation to many Christian conversations are with non-believers.
NLT 1 Peter 3:13-15
“Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.
Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it.”
This passage reminds us that it’s not always the popular decision to do good. You would think that if you’re doing the right thing, there would be more people agreeing with you than not.
Christians are often tested on their faith. Non-believers want to know why we oppose sin that can seem to be very enjoyable. In order to always be ready, like 1 Peter warns us, you need to have three things up your sleeve.
BIBLE VERSES THAT BACK YOU UP
My mother has taught me that you can tell a bad hair stylist from a good one before you even see a haircut. How? You can tell from their lingo. Stylist need to know their stuff about chemicals, cuts, and structure. I test a stylist before I let them get remotely close to my head.
That’s what non-believers do with Christians. They want to test if we know our stuff or if we’re just claiming to be righteous.
According to a study conducted in year 2010, American atheists and agnostics score to be more knowledgeable about religious beliefs than Americans that are actually religious.
Atheists are passionate about what they believe (or rather, don’t believe). They tend to do heavy research on what science says and what the bible says before deciding between the two. This makes non-believers often more prepared on defending what they believe than many Christians are.
It’s not enough for a believer’s argument to be, “it says somewhere in the bible . . .I think,” in order to back up what they feel is right.
I will admit, I haven’t been on top of memorizing scriptures like I should be. That big, heavy book can be intimidating just by staring at it. I made the mistake once of trying to read the bible cover to cover. This left me even more confused. Unless you have a bible with foot notes explaining why Abraham is about to kill his only son Isaac, I would not recommend this approach.
What I have been doing lately is spending each week focusing on a few scriptures that impacted me that prior Sunday morning in church. By digging deeper into what the pastor had spent an hour preaching, I understand the scripture much easier. This helps me be prepared for helping others with my revelation on said scripture.
You know what else is a great study tool? Talking about it. This is why Pastors tend to tell you to turn to your neighbor and repeat what she or he said. This is not to fill up the clock. It is to make sure that members are actively listening to the sermon which leads them to remember the message later.
This is just the start of sharing the Gospel in this day and age. You need another tactic to really drive home why you believe.
PERSONALIZE YOUR BELIEF
So you have a list of bible verses up your sleeve to back you. Awesome. Now what happens if your friend doesn’t believe in the bible or in God? Saying “because God says so” isn’t enough in this situation. If anything, saying this could make you sound as if you do not truly agree.
Imagine you are hosting a party in high school and your friends ask you why you are not drinking with them. If your response is only, “because my mom says so,” it makes it sound like you don’t agree with your mom’s rule. You are only following the rule reluctantly, yet you truly wish to grab a Bud Lite too. This makes your faith seem breakable. Just as the party-goers will pressure you to drink, non-believers will push you to sin. Non-believers will watch even more closely to see if you fail.
A few weeks ago, I was having lunch at my close friend’s house. I’m not sure but the topic of sex came about. Being my best friend, she could see that I was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the content since whoever the couple we spoke of was not married. She said, “I don’t see the big deal with premarital sex. If the couple is being careful and they love each other, I don’t feel like God cares.”
A few weeks ago, I was having lunch at my close friend’s house. I’m not sure but the topic of sex came about. Being my best friend, she could see that I was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the content since whoever the couple we spoke of was not married. She said, “I don’t see the big deal with premarital sex. If the couple is being careful and they love each other, I don’t feel like God cares.”
I had this talk with this friend several times before. For years, I had been saying that it was wrong because. . . well . . . it’s a commandment to wait until marriage. My friend is Christian, but just saying that it was in the bible was not enough for her. It wasn’t until I turned religion into relationship that she began to understand.
I believe that God wants the absolute best for us. Knowing this, there has to be a reason for every instruction. I reminded her that every commandment was written for a deeper reason.
The bible doesn’t ask for us to wait until marriage as a punishment. It’s protection. When you have a sexual relationship with someone, you become one. It’s easier to fall in love and try your hardest to maintain a relationship-even if they aren’t the one for you.
Getting broken up with is heartbreaking enough without having an irreplaceable connection. Getting dumped after giving them literally everything you have is almost unbearable.
I believe in waiting until marriage to protect me and my partner from any heartache. Even if we are made for one another, having sex too soon can make the relationship complicated and could ruin it in the end. Either way, it’s not worth the pain. I believe this with all the commandments.
By fully describing why I believe what I do, my friend could hear me out. But I had to do it with love and refrain from arguing. That leads to the last tactic.
WITH ALL THINGS, DO IT WITH KINDNESS
I know you are passionate about expressing what God says is right. The grace of God is so wonderful, how could you not want everyone to experience it?
But we must remember that arguing gets us nowhere. Unlike most debates, if this talk turns into a fight then no one wins. Especially not the non-believer.
After telling you to be prepared, 1 Peter 3:16 continues stating,
“But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.”
Stay calm, cool, and collected. There’s going to be people who genuinely want to talk about your differences in your belief system. This usually ends up with both of you agreeing on something no matter where they are on the faith spectrum.
There’s also going to be non-believers that aim to make you angry just to further prove their point. Your job is not the chuck bible verses out of context to back your statement. You should not force your thoughts down their throat by making sure you talk more than they do.
An effective conversation only works if both parties are listening. If you catch yourself in the middle a heated argument, ask yourself what is the objective you are trying to reach? If it is to inspire this individual to desire to be more Christ like, do you really think you’re setting a good example of the love of God by screaming at the top of your lungs?
A mentor of mine shared with me that when people assume that he thinks he is better than them because of his choice to not sin, he says, “I don’t think I’m better. In fact, I am so messed up, I became a Christian.” It’s so appalling, it makes everyone stop and listen. “I know I have sinned. I have lusted, lied, stolen, and committed murder within my heart. I have decided to change my actions by becoming a Christian.”
No one can have a quick comeback to that.
CONCLUSION
Finally, if you don’t know an answer to someone’s question, it is absolutely okay to admit that you do not know the answer, but you will try to find out. As ancient as it may be, the bible answers every question that is relevant to today. It is okay to embark a journey with them.
It is not okay to make up or twist the bible’s words to back up your intentions.
If your friend, colleague, or random stranger does not seem to understand even after using these tactics, do not lose hope. You have just planted a seed in their spirit. They’ll go the rest of their life remembering what you said. They may change along the way when you are no longer in contact. Do not give up spreading the gospel.
And above all else, remember to speak boldly and lovingly while doing so.
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