Signs That You Could be Dating the Next School Shooter
- TaCora Divine
- May 9, 2019
- 7 min read
5 Traits That School Shooters
Tend to Possess
I am sorry.
To my classmates who could have been hurt or worse, I apologize. Many of you tried to warn me that something was a bit strange about my boyfriend, yet I continued to dismiss each warning. I am so sorry that I was oblivious to the obvious and could have put you all in danger.
Do you believe in coincidences?
I believe that everything happens for a reason, which made it very difficult for me to understand why I felt captive to such a toxic relationship for most of my high school life.
I have recently found myself praying, asking what was the positive side of being through so much pain? Was it to show me that I was dumb, young, and in love? Or was it something far more grave?
To be honest, it was probably both.
As I woke up to the news of the survivors of the Texas shooting massacre in 2018, my answer finally clicked. Each student described the personality of the shooter. He had each and every trait that my boyfriend possessed. It was as if they were identifying my ex down to the T.
And it gets so much worst.
Tears poured down my face as I recalled what I had promised myself to forget; “If it were not for you, I would have shot up the school by now,” my ex heavily breathed over the phone.
He admitted to this several times. Each time, I would beg him to never say that again and change the subject. I thought he was being dramatic but now. . . I wish I would have acted sooner upon his threat.
Thank God my ex never went through with his evil desire to hurt others. Now I cannot help but warn others that you may be in the same predicament that I was. Please, use this check list below to see if you friend or significant other has these 5 similarities:
1. THEY ARE PRIME SUSPECT BY YOUR PIERS
“If there was ever a school shooting, he would be the crazy one to do it.”
I used to hear this all the time from other kids in my class. I used to take it to heart and get defensive.
How dare you talk about my boyfriend like that? The truth was that I was defensive because Gale* would discreetly tell me he had thoughts of committing a school massacre.
No one but I knew about his fascination with guns. I knew that he could get a hold of his older brother’s weapons. Although Gale never told me his full plan, I knew he had a strategy for how he would shoot up the school if he wanted to.
Like my ex Gale, nearly every school shooter described has an eerie vibe about them that their piers can identify by. I watched survivors on CNN talk about how creepily the shooter would walk down the hall. Many were too afraid of him to try to become friends.
If you are hearing this or statements similar to this from your piers often, trust me, they are on to something. Your significant other may be dangerous. You are just too close to see it.
2. THEY ARE PRIME SUSPECT BY YOUR PARENTS
- “I don’t know, there is something funny about him.”
- “I do not want you with him. I don’t trust him.”
Statements from my dad and mom that ticked me off. Ugh, I hate admitting when my parents are completely right.
If you are anything like how I was, you are going to roll your eyes and think that since I do not know your situation, I must be wrong. Bear with me, hopeful one.
I thought that my boyfriend and I were the next Romeo & Juliet. I refused to believe that my parent’s intentions were to help me. It was easier to believe that my folks were against me than to believe that there was something sinister about Gale.
You may be right. Maybe you are a Capulet and your boyfriend is your Montague. Maybe your parents just don’t understand a good relationship when they see one.
But what if they are right and they have a hunch that you are dating a sociopath? What risks are you willing to bet? Lives can be at stake.
3. THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEIR OWN LIVES
-“I think it would be better for everyone if I was not here anymore.”
Although it is common for an average young adult to battle depression or contemplate suicide at least once in their life, my boyfriend’s depression was so severe that it was taking over my life, too.
My full-time job as a girlfriend was talking Gale off the ledge. Literally. I spent countless amounts of sleepless of nights convincing him that he has a purpose. I skipped several days of class to do everything in my power to ensure that day would not be Gale’s last.
He started what I call a slow suicide; he cared less and less about his life. He made reckless decisions that would create a harder life for himself. My ex would waste away playing violent video games and intense partying. He dropped out of school junior year without a stable job or career plan. Gale became completely obsessed with porn and drugs. He lost all goals and ambitions. I witnessed him become a shell of his former self.
My mom puts it best, “If someone does not care about taking their own life, what makes you think they are going to think twice about taking other’s?”
4. THEY HAVE LITTLE OR NO COMPASSION FOR OTHERS
I would include an excerpt of a conversation with my ex, but I cannot post anything that foul. Gale had a temper that exuded from him having a lack of respect for his classmates or authority.
Gale would lie, cheat, steal and throw tantrums. During a fight, he would often shove me or scream that I should kill myself. Once, a security guard asked him to leave me alone. He proceeded to shove the elderly man and scream in his face. He had no sense of consequences. Gale was entitled and spiteful.
This is the part that I tried so hard to ignore. The way he treated his family was unacceptable; Gale would often raise his voice or threaten his single, hard-working mother. There was once an incident when he had sprained her arm in the heat of an argument.
He taunted and ridiculed his little sister. Gale rough housed with her, sometimes a little too harshly.
Chills rush down my back now as I type this. The image that comes to mind is the fictional film “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” The behavior between the realistic killer and Gale is (hopefully was) one in the same.
Remember this please; pay attention to how someone treats their family (especially their parents). That is a reflection on how they value others.
Does your significant other or friend meet this criteria:
fails to conform to social norms
manipulates others
disregards the safety of self or others
has a lack of conscience (does not care if they have hurt others)
their constant emotions are anger, boredom, or general discontent
abuses drugs (yes, even constantly smoking weed)
Sound familiar? Those are the top six descriptions of a sociopath and anti-personality disorder.
The seventh description below is added is the final sign that who your think is you true love may be too dangerous to be with.
5. THEY ARE SEEMINGLY CHARMING
-“God, what was wrong with me to start dating that creep?”
I asked myself this every day for nearly a year after the break up. I take comfort in knowing that I am not totally crazy. Gale tricked me into thinking he was someone that he was not.
He was not my knight in shinning armor. He was the villain in a Stephen King’s novel.
The Gale that I had fallen in love with was funny, tall, and gifted. Those blue eyes and shaggy dirty blond hair swept me off my feet. I became acquainted to being pressed against his 6-pack as we kissed right after he would whisper something sweet. We watched the sun come up over our long Skype chats together.
He showered me in guitar serenades and hand-written love letters. He knew how to pretend that he was everything I needed.
I add this in to let you know that no matter how wonderful your relationship may seem at the beginning, do not be afraid of taking a step back to remove the rose-colored glasses.
Breaking up with Gale meant letting go of the memories we created together. No matter how awful he was, I was afraid to break the promise that we were meant to stay together. I wanted the Gale I fell in love with.
But . . . he was gone.
The Gale who I broke up with weighed only 115 pounds at a height of 6’6”. Dramatic weight loss had resulted from the heavy amount of cocaine he snorted.
He had no ambition, self-worth, or heart. He despised everyone and wished them harm. That was not my Gale. That is a sociopath who I was right to leave.
YOU HAVE A WAY OUT
Thank you. To my friends who cared enough to get rid of Gale from my life, I am forever grateful.
Towards the end of my junior year, my best friends were fed up with Gale’s abusive and frightening behavior. They confiscated my phone to report his suicidal threats to a consular. They did what I was supposed to do.
Gale’s parents sent him to another school away from me and his peers in attempt to get to focus on his future. He went back to professional therapy. This was the step in the right direction that kept me and my peers safe.
There is always a way to be
saved from your situation.
*Gale is not my ex-boyfriend's actually name. No slander or shade thrown here!
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