Female Independence

You’re a Queen. Can You Keep Your Independence & Still Be Treated Like So?

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Spring 2015 I had an audition with a modeling agency. My school was blessed enough to have the opportunity of trying out to represent the apparel of one of America’s largest department stores. During the audition process, the company’s modeling representative was scheduled to judge and teach us the basics of modeling. The models and I awaited the modeling expert to enter.

The instructor strutted in wearing tall heels and a matching yellow and black suit. She was absolutely fabulous and incredibly poise. She greeted each of us appropriately then immediately began training. All of the advice she gave has continued to stay with me.

“Ladies do not chew gum,” she sternly exclaimed. Keeping her class, she directed the girls to wait for the door to be opened for them. On and off the runway, the boys to extend their hand out to guide a female model. These lessons upset my fellow feminist friend, who was also auditioning.

Shaking her head, she mumbled, “This is so sexist,” underneath her breath. I didn’t find the instructor’s methods as discrimination against women or men at all.

"When unsure of how to act as

you deserve attention and respect,

look towards royalty."

I understood that the modeling representative was not telling the models what women could and could not do. She was not promoting patriarchy where us girls had to rely on the boys before making a move. She was teaching us the difference between being a woman and being a lady. At the same time, teaching guys the difference between being a boy and being a gentleman. You are born a female but you have the choice to act as a woman of high class. Once your standard of behavior is to act of much worth, importance, and usefulness, you demand to be treated with the same respect.

When unsure of how to act as you deserve attention and respect, look towards royalty. You would be surprised to see the queen or princess opening her own door, pulling out her own chair. Having a man being courteous to you is him saying you are worthy of being treated like you’re meant to be treated. Just because something courteous is done for a princess or queen, does not make them any less strong. Their beauty, grace, and independence has remained kept even when their chair is pulled out for them.

I often hear the expression, “Chivalry is dead.” This overused quote is said whenever a man (or boy) fails to show proper respect during any given time where it is needed. Is it possible that chivalry began to die if and when you stopped requiring it?

A not-so secret to men that every woman must learn: a man will treat you like you demand to be treated. Same goes for everyone you allow in your life. If you demand nothing, you will be treated like nothing. But if you set your standards high, a gentlemen will come along who will not only meet your standards, but he will excel them. If a man cannot meet your standards, the thing to do isn't to lower your standards, but move to the guy who will.

The model friend of mine that I have mentioned earlier found it hard to understand how the instructor’s teaching was not only vital advice for the runway and show, but for life. My friend expresses how much of a proud feminist she is. Her views on social, political, and economic gender equality includes supporting the independence of a woman. I openly agree.

But what my friend and I did not agree on was the fact that she believed acts (such as opening the door for a woman) is outdated and belittling a woman’s capabilities to take care of herself. These are examples of how a gentleman shows respect. It is not to question a woman’s independence. In fact, this is an extension of our independence.

Side Note: As a germaphobe, I love any situation where I do not have to touch a public door handle, gas pump, or anything else with invisible creepy-crawlers. My heart melts when a guy grabs the door for me. Like, you just saved me from the common cold. You would rather me continue my strut instead of getting sick. Much appreciated!

As growing young ladies and women of the 21st century, we have the right to choose what we want in our lives. Women have developed a voice where we can choose and create our own destiny. We have the right to require respect from an eligible partner.

At any age or gender, it is important to know your self-worth and not to settle for someone who gives you anything less than what you deserve. When you ask for nothing, you get a mere boy. Once you demand respect, you attract a gentleman who is more than willing to treat you with the value you deserve.

The choice is always yours.

#FemaleIndepedence #feminism #You39reaqueen #You39reaqueenCanyoukeepyourindependence #TaCoraDivine #feminist